My ego put up a wall. It had to of course. I had to lay the bricks, one by one, for the prowess I possess to solve problems that should never have existed. In each stage of life there is a burden to bear. Sometimes, a sacrifice. In becoming a functional powerhouse, of strategic, dispassionate focus, I didn’t see the root of it all.
I am an emotional person. More so than that, I am incredibly sensitive and look for the true individual in every action. These traits appeared to me as weaknesses when I spoke from the podium of reason, because I could not engage with them. I had to make sense of things first. There was no other way for it to be. I couldn’t see that the knife cuts both ways.
I am moved by human triumph, of individual victory. Like when Aladdin frees the Genie. In that second the individual is recognised and the emotion erupts from the awareness. The master no longer seeks dominion. I realised that in these moments, there is a creative zenith occurring. One action brings life to two entities.
In my efforts to deduce the world and all of its experiences, I found what breached my composure was the formative essence of love. Let the mid-wits rage on with braggadocio lascivious lives. The simple and the complex enmesh hearts on sleeves in the devoted madness of unthinking to the abstruse heights of trans-dimensional constants.
We know what it is like to give ourselves freely to a constant. Unthinking men find jail cells to find themselves. Those that think too much circle the block a few times before finding a spot to park. In the end, the ontological extremism towards both poles results in a home base, where emotions belong.
I often think the grounding will elude me and I am fated to sail the seas under the whim of the prevailing wind.